Why?

               Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words? Speechless? If you have been in conversations with me, you know that I am rarely at a loss for wordsJ. This week has been one of speechlessness.

                Think back to a time when you had something taken from you and were never able to get it back. Perhaps a toy when you were young or a last second shot that did not go in the basket. Or maybe you have lost something/someone as tangible as a life. Herein lies my speechlessness for the week: WHY ? Why do bad things happen to ‘good’ people, why do people lose their jobs, why do people lose a loved one? Why do babies not make it full term? WHY?

                 Being totally transparent, my question for God this week has simply been, ‘why?’ I was visiting with a few friends about cancer earlier this week. We came to the conclusion that cancer will sadly affect everyone in some way, shape or form – whether it is directly or indirectly. Why would God allow cancer to affect so many people? This is near and dear to my heart this week, as my uncle lost his battle with cancer this morning. WHY?

                Another speechless moment of the week was learning that a dear friend lost the baby she was carrying. WHY? Maybe the reason why I am so speechless is because I know the feeling of losing a baby and wishing it was mine to hold. Since I am into the all or nothing approach this evening, I am guessing that if you have not had a miscarriage of your own, you know a friend or family member who has. When we entered marriage, no one ever warned us of the possibility of miscarriages; in fact, I did not know of anyone who had experienced one, so why would I need to worry about it? When we signed up to be ‘adults’ my parents forgot to mention that it was not going to be rainbows and butterflies everyday (even though I still like to live in this world as often as possibleJ).  The reality is that losing someone or something inevitably occurs in life….sometimes more frequently than we think it should.

                 So where is the JOY in the middle of all this sadness? In the middle of it all, in the storms of life, God has been here to hold my hand. He has been here to strengthen me. I am reminded of this verse in Isaiah that I turn to often for encouragement:

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

                God has never left my side – even when I have treated Him poorly. He has been here this week even when I thought He was the worst God ever for allowing bad things to happen to people I love. I had an ‘aha’ moment this afternoon when I was listening to my iPod while working out. The song How He Loves by David Crowder Band came through my ear buds:   

“How He Loves” by David Crowder Band

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way...

He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us...
Oh, how He loves us...
Oh, how He loves us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWgeUrD4MHI

                I have never seen a hurricane, but I have witnessed some nasty storms. This vivid picture of God holding onto me during the torrential downpour, winds, thunder, and lightening reassures me that everything is going to be okay – EVEN if I never understand WHY life unfolds the way it does. He loves me, He sent His son to die for me, what more do I need?

                In reference to my WHY questions of the week, my best answer is the all-encompassing love of God surrounding me. In the midst of our losses, no matter how great they are, He is here. Maybe the troubles we go through down here on earth are to bring Him glory. Maybe they are so that we can comfort those who go through similar trials. Maybe the troubles are to draw us nearer to Him. So, as I reflect upon the happenings of this week, I am blessed to serve a God who truly loves me (and youJ).

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.