Lacking May Bring Good

In the words of Beth Moore, “What is something you’ve wanted for a long while that you do not have? Has anything good or beneficial come to you or to others as a result of your lack?”

I have been thinking about these questions for some time now. The obvious answer to the first question is that I want a child. Question two poses a less obvious answer, because I still do not have what I desire. However, the more I reflect upon the question, the more I can see God’s hand in the ‘good’ He has given us as we ‘lack’ what we desire. Here are some of my recent thoughts on benefits from lacking:  

1.       The opportunity to watch our family and friends raise their children. If you are someone who has a child – THANK YOU for allowing us to be a part of your parenting/family experiences. You are truly role models in our lives. It is through you that we have learned the pros and cons of different parenting styles. Through our interactions with you and your child/ren we have had more ‘exposure’ to being around little ones.  

2.       This leads me to my second benefit of babysitting and working in the children’s ministry. Babysitting makes it pretty real: thank you to those of you who have given me this opportunityJ  Teaching middle schoolers on a regular basis may give me a glimpse of what parenting adolescents will look like down the road, but having the chance to work with preschoolers at church has been a fun outlet for Cole and me. They are so cute!

3.       One of the greatest ‘goods’ gained from this journey has been new found relationships. Some of my dearest friends are those whom I may have never talked to had it not been for our circumstances. If I had to endure a waiting period for a child, I would do it over again so that I could gain the friends that I have now. Love you all!

4.       And finally, the most significant ‘good’ that has come of this is God’s sovereignty and plan for our lives. -  Philippians 4:19: And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.  Even though it may be difficult at times, Cole and I have learned that God ultimately wants what is best for us and will take care of us no matter what. The Lord has captured our attention and during this waiting time drawn us closer to Him.

“You are For Me” by Kari Jobe

VERSE 1
So faithful, so constant
So loving and so true, so powerful in all you do
You fill me, You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

CHORUS
I know that you are for me I know that you are for me
I know that you will never, forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

VERSE 2
So patient, so gracious
So merciful and true, so wonderful in all you do
You fill me, You see me
You know my every move, You love for me to sing to you

CHORUS

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMyZLYCxINo

And my final thought revolves around yet another impactful song. As I drove home from my second trip to Ankeny this evening, “You are For Me” came on. I was silenced as I reflected on the meaning of the lyrics in my life: I found the bolded lyrics to be most meaningful this evening. Regardless of what I think I NEED, in pursuit of JOY, this song helps me to see that God’s faithfulness and constant presence is enough.

Why?

               Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words? Speechless? If you have been in conversations with me, you know that I am rarely at a loss for wordsJ. This week has been one of speechlessness.

                Think back to a time when you had something taken from you and were never able to get it back. Perhaps a toy when you were young or a last second shot that did not go in the basket. Or maybe you have lost something/someone as tangible as a life. Herein lies my speechlessness for the week: WHY ? Why do bad things happen to ‘good’ people, why do people lose their jobs, why do people lose a loved one? Why do babies not make it full term? WHY?

                 Being totally transparent, my question for God this week has simply been, ‘why?’ I was visiting with a few friends about cancer earlier this week. We came to the conclusion that cancer will sadly affect everyone in some way, shape or form – whether it is directly or indirectly. Why would God allow cancer to affect so many people? This is near and dear to my heart this week, as my uncle lost his battle with cancer this morning. WHY?

                Another speechless moment of the week was learning that a dear friend lost the baby she was carrying. WHY? Maybe the reason why I am so speechless is because I know the feeling of losing a baby and wishing it was mine to hold. Since I am into the all or nothing approach this evening, I am guessing that if you have not had a miscarriage of your own, you know a friend or family member who has. When we entered marriage, no one ever warned us of the possibility of miscarriages; in fact, I did not know of anyone who had experienced one, so why would I need to worry about it? When we signed up to be ‘adults’ my parents forgot to mention that it was not going to be rainbows and butterflies everyday (even though I still like to live in this world as often as possibleJ).  The reality is that losing someone or something inevitably occurs in life….sometimes more frequently than we think it should.

                 So where is the JOY in the middle of all this sadness? In the middle of it all, in the storms of life, God has been here to hold my hand. He has been here to strengthen me. I am reminded of this verse in Isaiah that I turn to often for encouragement:

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

                God has never left my side – even when I have treated Him poorly. He has been here this week even when I thought He was the worst God ever for allowing bad things to happen to people I love. I had an ‘aha’ moment this afternoon when I was listening to my iPod while working out. The song How He Loves by David Crowder Band came through my ear buds:   

“How He Loves” by David Crowder Band

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way...

He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us...
Oh, how He loves us...
Oh, how He loves us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWgeUrD4MHI

                I have never seen a hurricane, but I have witnessed some nasty storms. This vivid picture of God holding onto me during the torrential downpour, winds, thunder, and lightening reassures me that everything is going to be okay – EVEN if I never understand WHY life unfolds the way it does. He loves me, He sent His son to die for me, what more do I need?

                In reference to my WHY questions of the week, my best answer is the all-encompassing love of God surrounding me. In the midst of our losses, no matter how great they are, He is here. Maybe the troubles we go through down here on earth are to bring Him glory. Maybe they are so that we can comfort those who go through similar trials. Maybe the troubles are to draw us nearer to Him. So, as I reflect upon the happenings of this week, I am blessed to serve a God who truly loves me (and youJ).

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Blessings all around us

Are you a singer? Do you tend to drive with the music blasting and your lungs on fire because you are singing so loudly? That is often what the inside of my super charger sounds and looks like. Can you picture it?! However, the noise decibel vastly decreases when a new or unfamiliar song comes on. There is a song by Group 1 Crew that has been on the radio for awhile now; it was not until recently that I really paid attention to the lyrics:  

“He Said” By: Group 1 Crew Featuring Chris August

So your life feels like it don't make sense
And you think to yourself, "I'm a good person,
So why do these things keep happening? "
Why you gotta deal with them
You may be knocked down now, but don't forget
What He said, He said

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know, I'll never, ever let you go"
Don't you forget what He said
Don't you forget what He said, He said

Who you are ain't what you're going through
So don't let it get the best of you
'Cause God knows everything you need
So you ain't gotta worry
You may be knocked down now, but just believe what He said

He said "I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know I'll never ever let you go"
Don't you forget what He said

Don't fear when you go through the fire
Stand strong when it's down to the wire
Stand tall and remember what He said

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break"

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know I'll never ever let you go"
Don't you forget what he said

He said, what he said
Don't you forget what he said
What he said

        Meditating on what I was singing along to in the chorus and verses, I realized that the song has meaning and is actually true. I am not going to break because of my fertility journey, nor am I going to break if I end up driving the super charger for the rest of my life. J I have the support of Cole, family, and friends to walk this journey with me; even better yet, Jesus left me the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide me along the way. The song provoked me to look up different verses that ‘HE SAID’ to us. The one in Hebrews 13:5 struck a nerve with me:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

        I like this verse for multiple reasons. Throughout all of my life, I have never been alone. I have always had Mom, Dad, Kira, or Tyler around. In college, I always had my teammates around. And currently, I always have Cole around. What I sometimes forget is that I always have God with me. So, in the times when Cole cannot answer my phone call or my Mom is not able to reply to my text, I can lean on the comfort of the Lord, knowing He will never leave my side.    

        The second reason I love this verse is because it talks about being content. Contentment has been a word that has stood out to me in the past four years. It has reminded me to focus on what I am blessed with in life and not was I am missing out on. In pursuit of joy each day, this verse has reminded me to count my blessings: the grace that God gives me daily, the loving husband I have to be with for the rest of my life, my health, my family, my friends, my church, my home, my job, my neighborhood, my vehicle, my electronics, my, my, my, my, my…… the list could go on and on. Being content in my current life circumstances has also taught me to appreciate the activities I am able to participate in with Cole, family, and friends – before children enter the picture. For example, it would be pretty difficult to take a new born to a 94 degree baseball game at Target Field; or to the pool on a 97 degree day; or out to all of my girl lunch dates; or to latest 3D Spiderman movie. In the words of my wise friend, Sarah, ‘I am truly blessed!’